Secret Diary of a Piece of Wood

Day 13- It has been about two weeks since that kid decided he wanted to build a playhouse. He just nailed into me and walked off, that bastard.

Day 15- So the dog carried me around for a couple hours then started to bury me, but got bored and walked off, so now I’m lying in a pile of dirt. This is the most fun I have had in a long time. I may be clinically depressed, I must remember to look into that on the internet.

Day 21- I remembered to look into that whole depression thing; I didn’t find anything, but apparently some wood is made out of compressed wood chips. My life may be a lie.

Day 26- Dog carried me around some more, I like him; at least we hang out, not like that bastard kid.

Day 31- Kid stepped on that nail he jammed through me. I hope he gets tetanus, then his dad threw me over the fence into a creek. ( note to self: kid isn’t a bastard)

Day 32- So I drifted around for about 3 hours till I got caught on some reeds, eh at least it’s an excuse to see the world.

Day 36- I saw a bird flying around today, I kinda wish he would have settled near me, but he perched in a tree instead…. I miss the dog.

Day 41- I was picked up by an old man today, I pray to god he isn’t a whittler.

Day 43- So I was split in two today, and I fear that this guy is a whittler, due to the ornately carved wood things strewn about his home. I pray for my safety.

Day 94- It’s been a long time since I have been able to add to this… I became the old man’s project. He carved me into some kind of animal, I think, I don’t know I can’t see. All I do now is sit on top of some papers he keeps on his desk. I haven’t seen my other half in some time, I fear that may be him wedged under the door. What kind of God forsaken place is this?

Day 96- I tried to escape today, then I realized I can’t move… Being wood sucks. This old guy is really creepy. He just sits around whittling all day, what kind of monster does that?

Cody Hull