Where I Am

I am further than I am near.
I am more lost than I am found.
I am further gone than people see.
I am closer to confusion than to sanity.
I am further from home than I’d like to be.
I am nearer to fear than trust.
I am further from truth than a lie.
I am closer to succumbing than holding on.
I am further from God than I ought to be,

But I am not too far-gone.

I am closer than I was yesterday.
I am finding myself more each day.
I am starting to let people know me.
I am learning what true sanity is.
I am willing to let go of home.
I am beginning to trust again.
I am redefining what’s true through the word.
I am trying to hold on tighter.
I am realizing God will never leave me.

I am in a place where I’ll always be.

A place of decisions and consequences,
truths and lies,
hopes and doubts,
strength and weakness,
trust and fear,
sanity and confusion.
A place where by myself I would lose the battle, but with God I will always conquer,
for he knows all my fears and all my pains and defeats them all.

Bobbie Jo Heltibridle