If you’re not in here

If you’re not in here,
then you don’t know my mind,
then you can’t know my mind.
A mind filled with sorrow of broken dreams
never seeming to stop tearing at the seams.
Countless hours of pondering my existence
only coming to a conclusion that I’m better off without this.
It is no longer clear or visible to see the other side in here
Everything is obscured by foggy reminiscence of my childhood of fear.
If you’re not in here,
then you don’t know my mind.

If you’re not in here,
then you don’t know what I know,
then you can’t know what I know.
Living through so much in so little time I would think I’m unloved
left alone, he picked up and went on his way without us just because.
Abandonment can happen for reasons beyond our understanding
but that all depends on the worst possible timing
with a deadbeat like him why bother?
Well, that doesn’t matter because I still needed a father.
If you’re not in here,
then you don’t know what I know.

If you’re not in here,
then you don’t know my heart,
then you can’t know my heart.
It speeds up when you’re in here
I used to hold you close; I used to hold you dear.
I looked at you with so much unrestrained happiness and cheer
The people I have angered just to see you.
It didn’t bother me to do so because I loved you
I’ve not had a better time in my life.
I’ve not been tortured this badly either
If you’re not in here,
I don’t love you anymore.

by Jose Sanchez