Seven Vicious Strains of Writers' Block

Paul Higbee

"I've got writers' block!"

Every writer has uttered those words from time to time, sometimes bitterly, sometimes desperately and sometimes with eyes like a sad puppy wanting its head patted.

Shout, "I've got writers' block!" in a room full of writers and they'll back off like you're contagious. We all know that this dreaded malady can't be contagious, really. But we just don't want to be reminded of that horrible, hollow sensation that we feel when a ream of blank paper awaits us and, despite the fact we have an arsenal of Bics and all the time in the world at our disposal, we just can't think of a thing to write.

"Understanding one's disease is the first step in mustering the resources to conquer it," a physician has written. In that spirit I have identified seven particularly vicious strains of writers' block below. Having suffered most of these symptoms myself, one or two on a chronic basis, I have also taken the liberty of recommending some personally tested remedies.

Waiting-for-Lightning-to-Strike Strain - All of us know non-writers who consider our writing ability to be an almost mystical gift. "I just can't imagine how all of those characters and ideas come to you, just out of the blue!" they say. Listen to that long enough and you may well find yourself sitting about waiting for a divine spirit to arrive on a lightning bolt to guide your hand. Remember that there's nothing magical about writing. It's a process that you control.

Cobwebs-on-the-Pen Strain - Unlike riding a bicycle, I believe that you can forget how to write to some degree. When you allow your pen to gather cobwebs on your desk, you can lose that edge to your writing process that allows you to click along when you've really got something to say. Keep your writing form in shape by writing something daily or at least three or four times a week. Journal or letter writing are excellent means of getting your recommended allotment of writing exercise.

Huckleberry Finn Strain - I know writers who are bound and determined that they are going to write the great American classic every time they pick up a sheet of paper. The result, of course, is that nothing they write is good enough and they sit at a table crumpling up page after page and using the trash basket to practice free throws. If this sounds like you, relax! Who needs any more pressure? Have fun with your writing. Wait until someone has paid you an advance of a hundred thousand dollars or so before worrying about it.

 

All-Star-Wrestling Strain - Sometimes writers become stagnant because they've been exposed to nothing but other writers. We read other writers, are taught by writers, befriend writers, and write for writers. Go listen to the truckers down at the local truck stop. Sit in on a city council meeting. Watch All-Star Wrestling on T.V. Feel the pulse of the outside world.

Get-a-New-Hat Strain - Okay, okay, you're a poet, or a fine short-story writer, or a playwright. But when you just can't shake the words from your pen, maybe you need to experiment with another form of writing for awhile. Or maybe you're tired of being you. Maybe you should write something in the voice of the eccentric old lady down the street that the little kids taunt. Maybe you should play the devil's advocate and write about a topic you have strong feelings for from the opposite point of view.

Can't-Start-It Strain - Here the writer is certain that he will be able to churn out literature like a Tokyo assembly line churns out appliances if only he can think of the right opening. He can sit for days racking his brain, trying to formulate the proper first paragraph. Again the solution is to relax. Write something-anything-and then put it away for a couple days until you can judge it with a fresh mind. If it's horrible, at least you will know what not to do the next time. If you consider the opening to be so vital, maybe you should come back and write it last, after you're more familiar with the piece as a whole.

Can't-Finish-It Strain - College professors talk about students-often very good students-who work to within a semester of graduation and then drop out. This type of fear of completing seems to be quite common among writers. Like college students who never graduate, the writer may be intimidated by the new expectations that a finished piece brings about. Completion means sharing your work, which always makes you feel a bit self-conscious, and perhaps looking for a publisher, which can be hard and discouraging work.

Remember that you must.